I am such a whiner!!!

In the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, the chapter for February is all about marriage. The exercises for the month were to quit nagging, don't expect praise, learn to fight right, to not expect proofs of love, and to quit dumping.

You might be surprised to learn that that last exercise is incredibly hard for me.

A few months ago my friend (and co-worker), Shavonne, ran into my sister, Stephanie, at a festival and my sister asked Shavonne what it was like to have me as a boss. Apparently, Shavonne's response was: "She's a whiner." 

When I first heard about this afterwards I was so offended! I mean, out of all my wonderful, colorful, and delightful characteristics that she could have thought of, the very first thing that Shavonne associates with me is that I'm a whiner!

But in the process of taking a good hard look at myself these last few months, I have come to the realization that yes, I, Courtney Bittner, I am a whiner. 

Usually, there are two reasons that I am whining or complaining. Most of the time it is because I'm bored. For example, there will be a lull in the conversation so I'll say something like; "I'm huuuungry." I'm hoping that Shavonne's response will be something like; "That is quite an observation there, Courtney. Where do you think we should go for lunch? How about blah blah blah or blah blah?" And see, there you have it, a whole brand new conversation. 

What is the other reason I whine? Well, as Rubin writes in her book, we whine because we want the other person to "help [us] work through [our] feelings of anxiety and self-doubt." For example, I'll say "I'm such an awful boss, they should just fire me already!" For which I'm hoping Shavonne will respond with "Are kidding, Courtney, you are an awesome boss! Sure you spend more time at work reading and checking emails then you do actually working, but you work hard when it counts and that's all that matters!"   **She has never once responded to me that way...not once!

But here is what I have realized, I don't want to be a negative person! I mean look at this blog! Look at all the strides I've taken so far to get rid of my insecurities and self-doubt! Those are some of the major parts of my life where my negativity was getting the better of me. And sure, maybe I'd like to believe that my "whining" is not a major source of negativity for me, but it is still there. It is still present in my day to day life. And if it is such a small thing, then why not get better control on it?

So that's it, no more whining, no more complaining, no more negativity! I'm putting a stop to it right now! It wont be easy, half the time I'm whining I don't even realize I'm even doing it. 

Rubin writes that it is important for me to remember that when I am bored, I shouldn't "spoil a peaceful moment with my irritation". And when I am feeling insecure, it is not Shavonne's (or any of my other friends) responsibility to "spend hours pumping up my self-confidence."

I need to lean on the shoulders of my friends when I truly need their support, but I have to stop dumping my everyday minor troubles on other people.