I am a Marshwiggle

As many people know, my favorite book in the world is The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis, and I am only now realizing why.

In the Silver Chair, Lewis introduces us to a creature called a Marshwiggle. He describes them as being half man and half frog. They are very tall and have very long limbs and kind of a muddy complexion, not to mention the webbed feet.

Okay, that doesn't describe me at all, but what does describe me is the personality of a Marshwiggle.

Marshwiggles are very pessimistic creatures. They are always assuming that the worst is going to happen.

That is me.

I'm kind of paranoid in that way. I am always obsessed about what can go wrong when I am preparing for something.

Yesterday I set out to complete my first half marathon. And I was terrified. I kept telling people that I didn't want to embarrass myself. I knew that the worst thing that could happen was for me or one of my friends would get injured. But the next to worst thing that could happen would be that I was the very last person finish, and they would be taking the place down and everyone will have left by the time I finally finished.

Well, guess what folks, that is exactly what happened.

No, no one was injured! Thank God and all his angels in heaven for that!

However, I, Courtney Bittner, was the very last person to cross that finish line. Everyone had left and they were taking down all of the barricades. I was so late that the truck that picks up all the cones in the street was literally driving behind me at one mile an hour picking up the cones as I past by them.

Now let me share with you what I have learned about myself through all of this.

I am a Marshwiggle. I will always be a pessimistic person. That is a huge part of my personality, I will always be aware of what can go wrong when I am about to do something.

But there is a difference between being aware of what can go wrong and being obsessed and consumed by it.

In the past I have always been consumed by what can go wrong. I have always let that fear stop me.

But now, now I am feeling much more daring, because now I know that when the worst thing that could happen actually happens...I'll survive it.

I thought the worst thing that could happen was to be last, but I survived it.

If I don't want to do something because I'm scared, guess what, I've been scared before. Survived that.

Don't want to do something because I might get hurt, guess what, I've been hurt before. Survived that.

Don't want to do something because I might be rejected or embarrassed or lonely, guess what, I've been all of those things before, and I survived that too.

I can survive a lot more then I ever thought I could.

As far as this whole half marathon thing goes...

Well I know that when it was all over I said I would never do that again...EVER!

I lied. I've already been thinking about all of the things I could have done differently and I would like to see what would happen if I was more prepared. And there is only one way I can find out! And, I mean, it's not like I could do any worse, right?

And the strongest piece of advice I can give to anyone who wants to do a marathon is...

Surround yourself with the support you need.

Support is the absolute most important thing you will ever need in life. Physically and emotionally.

When we went to the health and fitness expo before the race, Amanda wanted to stop at this one booth to get some kind of support for her knee. While standing at the booth I ended up getting these calf sleeves for my legs. I am telling you now, that was the absolutely hands down the best $43 I have spent impulsively IN. MY. LIFE!!!!!!

So thank you Amanda for making me stop!

And emotionally...I know, without a doubt, that I could not have finished that half marathon without the support that I had from my friends and family that day. I love them dearly and I am so glad that I have so many amazing, strong, and supportive people in my life.